A simple way of coping with difficult people

by Yin on May 13, 2006

in Tis Thing Called Life

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to work with someone that you honestly detest or do not like? How bout a boss who constantly pick on your mistakes but praises others? A boss/acquaintance/spouse/team members/etc who always seemed to single out all the unfavorable treatment and reserve them exclusively for you?

I remembered a few years ago, I used to have a boss who would do just that. She would pick on my mistakes, talk bad about me with others and gave a very bad report for my appraisal. I never remembered doing anything wrong to her and I am not surprised because she does treat some of my colleagues in a similar manner. Somehow I encounter very bad luck because as I grew to dislike her more and more, she would be placed near where I am seated. I hated the way she talk and the way she would praise the big bosses (she would praise big bosses but bully her subordinate) and dying to gossip about other people.

As I took it all in, my body displayed sure sign of stress. I began experiencing more and more severe gastric attacks and dread the time where I would see her at work.Until one day…… I decided …………Hating her does not improve my condition. Since I am stuck with her, why not try to rectify the situation?

I make the conscious decision to try to like her. And I started by looking at her positive attributes. Initially I really have to try very hard. Everytime when I talked to her, I focus on her good points and think of good thoughts of her. It is not easy because it was all one sided. I acknowledged and told her what I feel was her unusual strengths.

But slowly after a few months, I find things got better between us. It was not longer an effort for me. In fact, it was easy for me to see how she gets where she is today. She is very good with customers. She could pacify the hardest and most angry customers and some even became her friends. It was a strength I find that I really admired and I could well benefit if I learn it too. In the end, we become good friends. She invited me to her house during one festive season where we all have a wonderful feast. I must say now that I sort of miss working with her. She is an enigma and I have picked up lots of skills from her. And of course, my health also improved. I knew all these would not happen if I were to let my anger take hold of me and blind me to a possibility of a great friendship.

That is why if you find you are caught in a situation where you just cannot run away, instead of cursing and torturing yourself, why not try to adapt? There is nothing to lose! If we practice anger, it would eat into our system and consume us slowly, affecting our health and boringly in all kinds of body deceases and illness. You would be surprised, once you start to look on a person’s good side, it is only an eventual of time that the person picks on your positive vibe and treat you the same way. I have been doing this now for a few years. And the end results are all the same. That was how I have formed a few great friendship along the way…………

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