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Keep your dreams to yourself when your loved ones do not support you

Wise people would advise us to keep our dreams to ourselves or risk giving it up altogether. Recently I read a book that teaches a person how to achieve our vocation in life.

According to the author, each of us is born with a life vocation- a sort of mission in life that we need to achieve in order to make us more evolved. If we ignore what we should do, then the job will be difficult and we will feel unfulfilled inside.

Sometimes, you want to try out certain things- stuff that is something you are interested in but is way beyond your comfort zone. Usually, we tend to want to share it with our loved ones and friends, hoping to get some words of encouragement, ideas and support. But most of the time, you may find that you meet with ‘dream crushers’ instead. The Dream-Crushers can be your closest family member, spouse or best friend.

Understand that a lot of advice and discouragement is not given with bad intention. Most of the time, they meant well- they don’t want you to get hurt, lose money, waste your time, etc. But a time waster to one is a valuable venture for another, like they say, one man’s meat is another man’s poison.

At the starting point, when you are most vulnerable to give up- because you lack the skills, knowledge or money- it is perhaps it is better you keep your dreams to yourself until you met with success. Most of the time, they will believe it when they see it. 

I know that it feels lonely to embark on a journey alone- to go through the tough time all by yourself. It’s very difficult to contain the excitement all by yourself. But for once, you really have to have the willpower to just keep your dreams to yourself if you do not wish to be hurt but ‘well-meaning’ remarks made by others.

You may succeed, or you may fail. Heck, life’s a journey full of trial and error anyway. Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen- and if there’s a way to deal with it when it happens. Then just do it… okay, you may not want to get both feet wet- perhaps just to test the waters. But one thing, you will never know until you’ve tried. And if there’s something that you enjoy doing, you’ll be surprised that a lot of inspiration, creativity and ability to solve problem seemed to come out on their own.

I have a friend who went into direct sales line without any background, high education and network. In the beginning, it was so tough and she told me how she had cried because there are so many times she’d wanted to give up. Endless product updates (and no one to teach or guide her well), rejection after rejection, etc. And to top it off, her husband and parents, who meant well and wanted to protect her, constantly pour cold water on her, asking her to just give it up.

The thought of giving up came to her mind- but then she realized that she had already a few customers counting on her to provide service- and she didn’t want to let them down. So she persevered- sometimes going to the malls on her own and approached prospects cold by just chatting them up.

Today, she is a successful saleswoman with a lot of customers and network- all that she build up one client at a time. Her profession gave her the freedom she needed- and she was able to uplift her family’s living conditions because of the benefits as well as going for holidays many times a year. If she had given up when everyone told her to, she will not be able to enjoy the success she does today.

Therefore, if you find something that you enjoy, don’t give it up just because others tell you that you cannot make it. Success does not happen over time- it happens from hard work, patience and endurance. It’s almost always too early to quit.

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