Few days ago I find a very meaningful quote as per the title “Whoever is trying to pull you down is already beneath you.”
I sent this quote to a dear friend of mine. She said yes, their heart is beneath us. But sometimes, in terms of career, status, wealth and looks, they may be well above us.
She is quoting her own personal experience as her life has been a series of challenges and betrayal one after another.
We often think that adversity reveals a person’s true nature. But this is not always the case. Some people when face with adversity, would keep all their true stripes hidden.
I used to feel very sorry for some people who I feel was born into unfortunate circumstances. They have the charm, intelligence and gift of wit but due to the environment they live and lack of education, they have very little chance of achieving success.
However, in some unguarded moments through little nuance of their non verbal actions, I get a glimpse of the type of person they could be if they were to be born in a first world country, given an education and having their materials met.
They may not be such nice people. They may be vindictive, abuse their position and power and break people apart.
But as they are now not even having their basic needs met, these unwholesome traits are mostly dormant. The concern is more for putting food om the table and paying bills.
And few times, I saw the true nature of some people once their life status changes. It was not pleasant at all.
They may wallow is self pity in an attempt to get help but once they have no use for us, they discard us. Or discard us when we needed support the most. Sometimes, they even be as mean as turning others against us due to some long standing grudges their kept against us, perhaps through something we said or do long time ago that did not meet their ‘expectations’.
So while we know who our true friends are when we are down, sick or need help…. we also know who our true friends are when they become successful, rich or popular.
Do they ditch or dump us the moment their status improve.
Is it possible to identify people with such traits?
While there may be some obvious signs, in most cases it is impossible to tell. We may have been childhood friends and besties with someone, and one day, they just ghosted us out of the blue.
Maybe our paths are very different. Maybe there are some things we had said without ill intention but they took it personally. Maybe it is just a pure misunderstanding over something.
It may be tough and we wish to seek closure or explanation over the behavior. But even if we ask or confront, what we get may not be the true answer. We would probably given some excuses.
And if we truly mattered to someone, usually before they discard us they would at least attempt to tell us their feelings or let us know. They would not just ghost us. Hence it speaks a lot about the worth of relationship.
It is just best to cut our losses and move on. Rather than continue to waste time.
In life our relationship with people does have a lifespan. When the lifespan of the relationship expires, both would go their each separate ways.
If meant to be, our paths may cross with them in future. By then, both would have been more matured and have more experiences with people. The dynamics may change and both sides may value the relationship more and no longer sweat the small stuff.